Lady Crumpet's Armoire


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June 16, 2005

Projecting much?

I was going to leave a comment elsewhere:

I'm trying to learn the difference between when a person just wants to bitch and moan - whine whine whine while you listen - and when a person actually wants some advice or encouragement. But I'm no longer friends with the person who does this. She'll have to find other people who will tolerate her hand-wringing and her lack of willpower to do anything about her problems.
And then I realized that this very thing could be said, perhaps more accurately, about me.


I didn't post the comment, but it's here as a reminder that I shouldn't be so quick to judge when my own glass house needs to be put in order. I'm not going to condemn myself and remain stuck, frozen in blame, in self-recrimination. I'm pursuing improvement behind the scenes. It's slow going, but it's happening. It's necessary to believe in yourself, because sometimes that's the only support system you'll have. And while that may not be the case typically, it's still something to keep in mind.

Yours, &c., LC | 12:47 PM | Slice o' Life | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)

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...and just when I thought that self-centeredness was what makes a good blogger.... *t.i.c*
But did you mean you favour neither of these types, then?

Posted by: mademoiselle a. at June 20, 2005 08:08 AM

I suppose it depends on what you're looking for in a blog. Some of the ones I like to read could easily be called self-centered, which could be a neutral or pejorative term, depending on your point of view.

I suppose I am more frustrated when someone repeatedly vents about the same issues and that's all the person wants to do. You're to listen, but the person doesn't want input. Everybody has to vent now and then - that's normal. It's hard to confront difficult issues. But when someone does little to change, and then continues to gripe about problems, it's exasperating to stand by.

I realize that I've been guilty of the same behavior, so that's an eye-opener. In the end, I only can work on my own concerns. What other people do about their problems is up to them.

Posted by: Lady Crumpet at June 20, 2005 01:14 PM

transcription of the *...*: tongue-in-cheek [I thought it meant as much as a twinking eye?]

the scenario you mentioned is definitely not what I, for my part, am looking for when I choose my dailies. Exactly, it is the input thing. In fact, it is something I have dumped some friends for, because I felt like a prop in their allnight dramas. People of this kind don't want you as a caring friend. They want props as a legitimation that what they do is ok. Because they don't want to change; they want to insist that it's ok to do what they do.

So, venting is ok, as long as the will for reflection is involved. And I don't think you're going totally without it ever. Not you. :)

Posted by: mademoiselle a. at June 21, 2005 05:36 AM

Oh right - I meant to ask about the t.i.c. as I don't think I've come across that before. Thanks for clearing that up!

Your remarks explain things so well - thank you for that.

Posted by: Lady Crumpet at June 21, 2005 02:30 PM